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Taking the Leap: One Virgin's Story


DECEMBER 15TH, 2018 5 A.M. ~BY R.R.

To those reading please understand that I do not advise a one night intensive. Late life virginity is a challenge best treated somatically over the course of multiple hours and sessions, with the involvement of a licensed psychotherapist. This night was an exception. One I may never make again.

The text came in Friday night…

How he found me, the exact night I was in Denver, the exact night he chose to address his virginity, confounded and amazed me. He said he saw my ad online, felt compelled to reach out to me, didn't know who or where I was. The coincidences were divine, succulent, like a fresh oyster hand delivered by Aphrodite, begging to be shucked and savored.

Virgin coaching is one facet of my services. Vital, yet relatively unknown. I can teach clients, men or women, how to be sexually successful. Forever.

Let me share the story of meeting this 30-year-old virgin…

Recently, I was drawn to Denver. After some heavy meditation, the Spirit informed me that I needed to go. There was someone there in need of my very specialized help.

My plane touched down at 7 am, I checked my calendar. First order of business was an 8 am coffee with Grace Ballard, the well known sex therapist in LoDo. I hailed an uber. The Infinity pulled up and I met another soulmate, who is known in Denver as BLK.

“Oh... you a SugaWooga, you can ride in front”. He crooned a his deep soulful voice.

I was honored.

“Game recognizes game,” he said.

I concurred.

After a brief explanation of my work BLK assured me that he would be my driver and bodyguard while I “put my footprints down”.

“You need someone who’s got your back, you don’t know this city yet, babygirl”.

Thank you Universe.

“You have Spirit. Know what I’m sayin’?”

This trip was starting out quite fortuitously.

After a busy day of meetings all around the city I collapsed on my bed at the Renaissance. Cued up some jazz, made a cup of tea and commenced to chill.

Then I saw the text.

We set an appointment, I called up BLK.


Somatic therapy is as stimulating and revelatory to me as it is for my clients. It’s why I created the Western Institute for Healthy Love. People need to explore their sensuality and intimacy in a healthy way, and I show them all of the tools we have at our disposal to truly tap into our deepest love and sexuality. To please not only ourselves, but our partners, on the deepest, most intense levels possible.

It’s very important to ease into intimacy with virgins – though often they want to go in guns ablazin’. This is where I help.

Tact is critical when working with late-in-life virgins. They’ve had a whole lifetime of experiences before connecting intimately with another person, and that can cast a shadow on making the leap to punch their V card.

They must overcome pressure from friends, feelings of “I just want to get it over with…”, bad relationships, religious values imposed upon them throughout life, even not being able to identify or acknowledge their true sexual preference.

Think about it…the later in life you lose your virginity, the more time there is to accumulate trauma and mental blocks. When I work with virgins, we usually have 10-12 weeks of focused sessions before working up to the actual act.

But this was different.

When this gentleman reached out to me, I was leaving the next day. I had just one night, a single intensive session, in Denver with a 30-year-old man who decided it was time to pull the trigger. He randomly found my website online and contacted me. He was the reason I came to Denver.

Enter the innocent.

I arrived at his condo and declared “You’re the luckiest man in Denver, what’s about to happen is a specialty of mine.”

He shuffled nervously, “really?”

“Without a doubt my dear man. How did you know that I was in town?”

His eyes widened. “You don’t live here?”

I chuckled, “No, I’m leaving in the morning!”

He had to sit down.

“You found the most qualified person in Denver to help you with this.” I assured him.

Part of why I’m so very good at what I do is that I can intuitively read cues from others. I prefer to stick to the longer process, as it’s beyond beneficial. However in this extreme case I felt compelled to stretch the rules. The man asked me for help, who am I to turn him down? I was able to use my field research and experience to expedite weeks of work into this one-time intensive session.

This session began with delving a bit into his past, but mostly focusing on his future. My new client confessed that he has some deep-seated trust issues to work through.

Ultimately, my intention is to do no harm. This is why psychotherapy is often vital for virgins. The triadic model that surrogate partners use is employed for a reason. Deep psychological issues need to be addressed. This is why my process not only benefits them in the immediate, but also in the long-term. I was unable to connect him with a therapist in time for our appointment. I referred him to some counselors in the city that I had met earlier that day. Praying that he would take my advice.

From there, we moved into meditation and breath-work.

Holding him closely, we synchronized our breathing slowly through guided meditation, allowing us to establish an energetic and spiritual connection. We focused on piquing all of his senses, plus being sensually and sexually mindful in every moment to elevate the experience to its pinnacle.

Touch is incredibly erotic. He needed to experience the sensation of touching, and being touched, intimately.

We got him tuned into the feeling of my fingernails smoothly caressing his body, touching his face lovingly. My process is non goal-oriented and mindful. Clients learn that every moment can be intensely fulfilling when you remove the goal of simply having an orgasm.

Next it was time for anatomy 101…in a thorough, gentle and non-traumatizing way. I described the female sexual anatomy. He studied my examples. I pointed out some of the key players.

My Denver virgin had a checklist. It was time to move to level 3.

During this level I offered a lot of guidance. All the while I checked in on how he was feeling. It’s important to keep the communication flowing. He didn’t verbalize a lot, and that’s fine. It’s a great deal to absorb. I understand.

Then it was over.

He began violently shaking from the intensity of connecting intimately with a woman for the first time. I soothed him with guided meditation and embrace, getting him out of his mind and back into his body. This was a lot to process.

He told me it was absolutely amazing. And then he had no more words. He shut down a bit.

While feedback can be minimal in the wake of a virgin’s first experience, I know my work is life changing. It doesn’t always need to be verbalized. I teach the inexperienced how to love and to be open. To be in touch with their own, and their future partners’ feelings.

So many virgins are in a similar situation. The first inclination is to hire an escort, just desiring to “get it over with”. In my experience I have heard from many men that losing their virginity to an escort was traumatizing.They don’t know if that woman gives a shit about them, has any compassion towards them at all.

They should be calling me.

I make the experience one that’s not only unforgettable but can positively change the rest of their lives.

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