Mother’s Day is the ultimate test, because if you screw it up, she will question your competence as both a man and a lover. You may be in a quandry if your lady friend has children who are not fathered by you. What do you do and say on Mother’s Day?
Do not dismiss this opportunity to show how much you admire your lover’s virtues. Tenacity, patience, intelligence, heart. These are the qualities of a mother. Believe me when I say that Mothers never tire of hearing how much they are appreciated. Especially by the adults who witness their sacrifice and hard work on a daily basis.
When a woman becomes a mother she assumes a new identity, one that she will have for the rest of her life. This part of her identity becomes knitted into her very soul. Ignore her role as a mother and you are ignoring a big part of her. Better to put in a little effort before hand and make sure that you sincerely acknowledge her motherly qualities thoroughly.
Your opinion of her mothering skills, how her kids act, their personalities...none of this matters. What matters is that you notice her and give her a genuine compliment. Moms never tire of recognition of their contributions and sacrifices.
Perhaps her children are grown.. Compliment her on a job well done raising functional adults. Communicate with them before the big day so that your plans don’t conflict with theirs. This is an opportunity to model manly behavior to her kids and score points. Show them how mature and thoughtful you are
Put your libido away for the day. Mommy is a big part of our identity, but it isn’t the only part. Your job as her lover is to blend mom with woman and leave out sexytime. Good luck w that. Here are some ideas...
Let her sleep in. Moms are notoriously sleep deprived.
Make or buy her a card, and write something in it from your heart. Google heartfelt message for mother’s day and copy it word for word if you have to.
Basically we want to know that we matter on other days of the year besides one single Sunday in May.
Don’t plan anything for yourself
If you casually mention that you’re going drinking with a buddy on May 12 that bottle is gonna wind upside your head.
Make plans well in advance. Reservations will be hard to come by. Maybe it’s time to dust off those cookbooks you use to level the sofa.
If you do cook for her, make sure that you CLEAN up your mess before she sees it. A mess triggers our response system, stresses us out and your effort will be trumped by her worrying about who is going to clean the damn kitchen.
Presents should not include anything sexy, appliances, guns, or DIY furniture. Try the old stanbys: lots of big beautiful flowers or potted plants, delicious treats, shopping sprees and spa days. Don’t reinvent the wheel here guys.
If you want to make this Mothers’ Day different, you’ve got to focus on her as a whole woman beyond the single day where she’s acknowledged for having kids
Comments